February 25, 2009

not in my right mind...or am I?

On season 4, disc 2 of Sex and the City series and loving it. Loving it so much that I want to despertly find my own Aiden. I want to be back in the states so bad sometimes and be in their routines. I want to own my own apt in NY or not, and have my own cute little job that pays the bills with a little left over for a pair of shoes, and have my girlfriends by my side and be dating like that. They make it seem so fun! I want to be going to events and bar openings and meet my girls for breakfast and talk about everything we dont talk to anyone else about. I miss so much

I am missing so much of their lives and they are missing so much of mine, even talking on the phone and the once a week facebook message doesnt come close to helping how far I feel. I feel like the great wall of china is between us. I tear up now remembering how it felt to be sitting around "lounging" with no worries except for what we were doing together that night. even if it was nothing. God, I miss them.

I'm holding up and still loving it here though. Still not getting enough of this country, im eating it up! I am so excited for summer and for Ben to come. And Heather. and Bridget, I need to see their faces and hug their bodies. The Ulpan is coming to an end in a month and Mel and I havent figured out our living/ working situation for April and through the summer, but hopefully we will get things figured out. Some thoughts are volunteering on another kibbutz or continuing on and enrolling in another Ulpan program to continue studying Hebrew...? Dunno...

If it were up to me I would peace out and go teach English in like Thailand or something..I gave that some thought, but figured it wouldnt pay enough and maybe I should conquer learning one language before I confuse myself with trying to teach one in another foreign country. Maybe in a year or so.

I didnt get a call on Valentines day. I didnt get a text, I didnt get an email. I want to say it was the worse feeling ever but it really wasnt. It sucked and I was hurt, still am, but Mel, Alex and I met some really cute soldier boys a couple weeks ago and were hanging with them all that weekend so my mind wasnt all Chris. They totally catered to us, invited us to stay with them in the "South," at their kibbutz Shoval, near Be'er Sheva, which is about an hr and a half away from here and they cooked for us and had made salad and took us out- it was really fun. we went to the beach, beach Zikim- its about 5 minutes away from Gaza I could see it while laying out, it was crazy. The south is so much different looking than the northern part of Israel I live in. Its so dry and mountainy and sand colored. In my area everythings green and there are fields and olive trees and ocean nearby, hard to describe but its amazing that geography is so different only 2 hours away. So, the soldier boys showed us a good time and they plan on coming to our kibbutz to visit this weekend..we'll see.


1 comment :

marli said...

we miss you too. i feel like that is all i ever comment on this blog. i know that you know we miss the shit out of you... but i can never say it enough.

we talk about you all the time. we always wish you were here. but, at the same time we know you're doing what you want to be doing. we are some proud friends.

the pic of you on here is absolutely beautiful.

keep on keeping on.