not in my right mind...or am I?

On season 4, disc 2 of Sex and the City series and loving it. Loving it so much that I want to despertly find my own Aiden. I want to be back in the states so bad sometimes and be in their routines. I want to own my own apt in NY or not, and have my own cute little job that pays the bills with a little left over for a pair of shoes, and have my girlfriends by my side and be dating like that. They make it seem so fun! I want to be going to events and bar openings and meet my girls for breakfast and talk about everything we dont talk to anyone else about. I miss so much

I am missing so much of their lives and they are missing so much of mine, even talking on the phone and the once a week facebook message doesnt come close to helping how far I feel. I feel like the great wall of china is between us. I tear up now remembering how it felt to be sitting around "lounging" with no worries except for what we were doing together that night. even if it was nothing. God, I miss them.

I'm holding up and still loving it here though. Still not getting enough of this country, im eating it up! I am so excited for summer and for Ben to come. And Heather. and Bridget, I need to see their faces and hug their bodies. The Ulpan is coming to an end in a month and Mel and I havent figured out our living/ working situation for April and through the summer, but hopefully we will get things figured out. Some thoughts are volunteering on another kibbutz or continuing on and enrolling in another Ulpan program to continue studying Hebrew...? Dunno...

If it were up to me I would peace out and go teach English in like Thailand or something..I gave that some thought, but figured it wouldnt pay enough and maybe I should conquer learning one language before I confuse myself with trying to teach one in another foreign country. Maybe in a year or so.

I didnt get a call on Valentines day. I didnt get a text, I didnt get an email. I want to say it was the worse feeling ever but it really wasnt. It sucked and I was hurt, still am, but Mel, Alex and I met some really cute soldier boys a couple weeks ago and were hanging with them all that weekend so my mind wasnt all Chris. They totally catered to us, invited us to stay with them in the "South," at their kibbutz Shoval, near Be'er Sheva, which is about an hr and a half away from here and they cooked for us and had made salad and took us out- it was really fun. we went to the beach, beach Zikim- its about 5 minutes away from Gaza I could see it while laying out, it was crazy. The south is so much different looking than the northern part of Israel I live in. Its so dry and mountainy and sand colored. In my area everythings green and there are fields and olive trees and ocean nearby, hard to describe but its amazing that geography is so different only 2 hours away. So, the soldier boys showed us a good time and they plan on coming to our kibbutz to visit this weekend..we'll see.

i love shooks and stinky cheese

We went to the Shook!!! It was our paradise. Our overcrowded, smelly, cheap, hectic, random paradise. It was shook ha'carmel and it was in Tel Aviv and we went with the Ulpan and got to walk around for a couple of hours. Mel and I purchased some scarves, jewelry, sunglasses and BOOTS for 20 bucks that are to-die-for!!! We left the shook and got back to the kibbutz and immediatly started trying on outfits with our new boots to wear that weekend and I put my boots on and the right one feels really tight. I asked Mel if she thought they would stretch out a bit or if it was my sock..and she was like yeah it should be fine. So I walk around our room a little more and realize that its too tight, tighter than the left boot so I look at the bottom and the stupid person at the show store sold me two differnt size boots! That would freakin happen to me!!! So Alex and I are going to TA this Thursday to return them and switch sizes, hopefully I will have no problems because in Israel customer service isnt like taking something back to Target, its always complicated. Dysfuntional is a word I like to sometimes use to describe stores and store owners here in Israel.

We went out Thursday night to Sogo where some reality show "celebs" were hosting a party; it was cool..kinda. It was basically just Mirelle and I on another one of our dates because Shiran was working and Shanie or Naama didnt go with us, but whatever we had fun. We make fun. On Friday we chilled at home, it was nice. Got in the jacuzzi with the little girls and splashed around for a bit, it was raining out so it was cold but so nice in the hot water! This just made me realize that I am not bathing suit ready, dammit! After the jacuzzi we rented "Over Her Dead Body" on tv and watched it with dad and Simi, kinda cheesy, kinda cute. Later that evening Saba, Savta, Yael, Yossi, Danielle and Ohad joined us for dinner, it was Saba's bday celebration, I think he's 77. Anyways, we had an assortment of cheeses that dad brought back from Paris, stinky cheeses and spreadable cheeses- yellow, orange and white cheeses...I was in love. We ate it with french brea