December 8, 2008

black and blue


Today was slow. Woke up at around 6:20 and got ready for work, stepped outside to the nastiest weather ever. I guess it had rained the night before because it was so chilly and wet and ugly. Matched my mood. Made the 7 minute walk to work, that takes me about 10 minutes because of my 5 lb each steel-toe work boots that they make us wear, and immediatly submerged myself in my iPod music and began my robotic chores. It's mind numbing, which I couldn't complain about today. I have so much on my mind
I feel like my head is going to explode. I am constantly thinking; battling with myself. It's tiring. I decided to "take a break from Chris." Things got complicated and I need some time to myself to figure some things out. I feel guilty blogging about my relationship, like the details should be more personal, but I guess whoever is reading this knows me well enough to know that this break up is a big deal. This is a 3 and a half year relationship that I'm talking about...thats a long time to devote yourself to someone to have it end on akward terms. I am faithful enough to think that if it meant to be- it will.

Work was the longest day ever, probably because I couldnt see the sun shining through the windows because of how dark the sky was all day and while walking home on the lunch break it actually started raining on me, I should have just danced. Today just felt blue. After work, I came home and have been just hanging out with people on our stoop, we walked to the Colbo and the dining room during dinner time and got potatos, tomatos, cucumber, butter and zatar and came home and microwaved the potatos and made salad with olives and olive oil. It was really good!! It's 9:15 now and I have to shower and then am passing out. I havent really gotten much sleep in the past couple days, havent been tired at bedtime, really frustrating. Dad is picking us up tomorrow to have dinner and chit chat- should be interesting.

1 comment :

Jen and Kev said...

I love when you write because it's so real and honest. I'm sorry for the blues that have cluttered your bright and beautiful ora. You'll get your light back...it will just take a while. Lots of love to you!